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Satire for The Silly
Dude-Con is Back: Your Balls Are Officially Off The Shelf and Celebrating
2022 is all about your “reboot-the-dude”
The wait is over! It’s time to breach the entrance to the manliest place on earth:
Dude-Con, where stereotypes are not only embraced but galvanized to withstand the impositions of evolution.
After two years of suffering, your favorite male-only event got some new treads and the tires have been kicked. That excitement under your hood isn’t acid reflux. It’s pure octane-fueled horsepower lurching at the start line to ignite all your pistons. Never has there been such a need for a rubber-burning, flame-blowing quarter-mile race to male freedom.
You have so much to look forward to. No expense has been spared to prop every attendee up on the platform of ill-begotten privilege — right where you belong.
Society’s whittling away of your self-imposed gonadal rights will be appeased by a litany of wrappings curated to protect fragile egos that have been inflating since high school.
The awesomeness of the awesome will be awesome, and here’s why:
First things first…
